If there’s one thing Australians appreciate it’s a good laugh, and during the 1980s, our funny bones were tickled by a series of comedy records that rocketed up the ARIA singles chart. Remember these novelty hits?
“KISS Army” by Norman Gunston
Released: 1980
Peak: number 13
Garry McDonald had been stirring up trouble as his deceptively bumbling alter ego Norman Gunston for years by the time this tribute to KISS fans was released as a single. He’d even had a top 10 hit previously with 1976’s “Salute to ABBA”. A play on “I Was Made For Lovin’ You”, “KISS Army” referenced everything from the band’s distinctive make-up to Gene Simmons’ propensity for vomiting blood and breathing fire, and, of course, his tongue.
“Shaddap You Face” by Joe Dolce Music Theatre
Released: 1980
Peak: number 1
Earlier in 1980, a more serious song about Australia’s increasing multiculturalism, “I’m An Aussie, Yes I Am” by Salvador Smith, just missed the top 40. But in the era of Kingswood Country, which began on Channel 7 that year, the country took more of a shine to this playful parody of a “new Australian”, with Joe Dolce bunging on an accent to perform the part of Giuseppe in this international chart-topping hit.
“Australiana” by Austen Tayshus
Released: 1983
Peak: number 1
Australian stand-up comedians like Kevin “Bloody” Wilson and Rodney Rude found success on the albums chart during the ’80s, but when it came to hit singles, this routine by Austen Tayshus was unstoppable. Well, except in Victoria when “Australiana” was briefly banned, resulting in it relinquishing the number 1 spot until order was restored. Co-written with Billy Birmingham (more on him in a second), the record lived up to its title by incorporating word plays involving local place names, flora and fauna, and other terminology. Austen Tayshus returned to the top 20 the following year with “Phantom Shuffle”.
“It’s Just Not Cricket” by The Twelfth Man
Released: 1984
Peak: number 1
The record that started it all for Billy Birmingham in his guise as The Twelfth Man was the satirist’s first send-up of the Channel Nine cricket commentary team, with special attention paid to the late Richie Benaud. “It’s Just Not Cricket" was the start of an unparalleled run on the ARIA charts – The Twelfth Man released seven number 1 albums and two chart-topping singles – and is, among its many achievements, one of the most expletive-ridden number 1 singles of all time.
“I’m Tuff” by George Smilovici
Released: 1984
Peak: number 10
How tuff? That was the question stand-up comedian George Smilovici proceeded to answer over the course of this three-and-a-half minute routine (just under nine minutes on the 12” version). Recorded live, with the audience shouting out “how tuff?” at the appropriate spots, “I’m Tuff” consists of punchline after punchline detailing just how hard George is.
“I’m An Individual” by Jacko
Released: 1985
Peak: number 15
This was meant to be funny, right? Unlike fellow VFL player Warwick Capper’s more serious attempt at being a pop star with “I Only Take What’s Mine” the same year, Mark Jackson’s musical offering was a more comic affair. Jacko wisely steered clear of singing to (kind of) rap his way through this novelty tune.
“So Excellent” by Kylie Mole
Released: 1988
Peak: number 8
One of the standout characters from ratings smash The Comedy Company, gum-chewing schoolgirl Kylie Mole (played by Mary-Anne Fahey) was the perfect subject for a pop parody. Sounding like a Stock Aitken Waterman cast-off, “So Excellent” was a double A-side with “I Go I Go”, one of many catchphrases the teen character spouted every Sunday night on Channel 10.
“Five In A Row” by The D-Generation
Released: 1989
Peak: number 12
If your song wasn’t sent up by either Fast Forward or The Last Show in the late ’80s and early ’90s, was it even a hit? On this single, the team behind the latter took aim at five of Australia’s most lampoon-able local acts: Jimmy Barnes, James Reyne, Kylie Minogue, John Farnham and Little River Band. They followed it up with the far less successful “Five More In A Row” in 1990.