Yesterday was the yearly event "Australian Music T-shirt Day", so we've raided our wardrobes and put together our Top 10 list of the Best Band T-shirts in music history. From the Sex Pistols to Madness to Nirvana. Who do you think wore it best?
1. Stiff Records - If It Ain't Stiff, It Ain't Worth A Fuck
London-based independent record label, Stiff, who in 1976 released what is generally accepted as the UK’s first punk single, - The Damned’s “New Rose” - were always on point with their marketing and advertising. Their cover artwork, merchandise and packaging grabbed attention, and was bold, provocative and witty (as the Brits do best).
The label billed themselves as "The World's Most Flexible Record Label", and during their glory years from the mid 1970s through the early 1980s they released dozens of excellent and influential singles and albums.
Other slogans used were:
"We came. We saw. We left"
"If It Ain't Stiff, It Ain't Worth a Fuck"
"Stiff'll Fix It"
"If they're dead, we'll sign 'em!"
"Fuck Art, Let’s Dance!"
"Money Talks, People Mumble"
"We Lead Where Others Follow but Can't Keep Up"
2. Inspiral Carpets - Cool As Fuck
Inspiral Carpets were part of the late 1980s and early 1990s “Madchester” movement, coming to prominence alongside bands like The Stone Roses and Happy Mondays. The scene mixed alt rock with a 60s-inspired psychedelic vibe and a dash of dance music. The Inspiral Carpets also added the sound of an organ to their mix - a sound that became known as “baggy”.
Cool as Fuck (printed on the cover art as Cool as ****) was the name of the group’s 1990 EP, and was also printed on a series of the band's t-shirts. They went down quite a treat too - it’s reputed that the tees sold more copies than their albums, combined.
We just wonder how many fans can still fit into their Cool As Fuck tee after all those pints and the cruel hand of time. Bassist Martyn Walsh was asked that question in a 2014 interview: Just about, just about!!, he laughed.
3. Mogwai - Blur: Are Shite
Well this one’s a bit of a mystery. Surly Scottish post-rock band, Mogwai - whose incredible show in Sydney at the beginning of the year nearly blew the roof off the Opera House - have a distinct dislike for Britpop darlings, Blur. But it appears to be rather one-sided.
In 1999, Mogwai started a bit of feud against Blur, voicing their dislike for the band they described as "one of the weakest bands on the planet". They really fanned the flames when they printed t-shirts with the slogan ‘Blur: Are Shite’ on them. The band went on to claim that "78 percent of people agree that Blur are shite". Blur acted like proper English gentlemen and refused to be drawn into a war of words.
But when Blur announced they were reforming in 2008, Mogwai took the opportunity to reopen the feud with a delightfully sarcastic message to the band posted on their website:
"Anyone fancy a 'Blur: Are Shite Once Again' T-Shirt?" it reads. "It seeeeeems as if the seminal britpop band called Blur want to get back together again to make astounding new music.
4. Kurt Cobain - Grunge Is Dead
Nirvana frontman and resistant leader of the grunge movement of the 90s, Kurt Cobain, had a great collection of t-shirts. There was the “Corporate Magazines Still Suck” tee he wore on the cover of Rolling Stone, or his “Hi How Are You?” Daniel Johnston alien t-shirt.
When he was photographed in 1992 wearing a shirt sporting this ironic slogan, “grunge” (which had become a catch-all term for anything noisy or a bit different) was everywhere, even in department stores. Kurt’s look became part of a grunge uniform, along with ripped jeans and a plaid shirt or cardigan, worn by thousands of devoted followers.
The fact that these t-shirts are sold at Walmart, may have proved Kurt’s point, in fact you can now buy all of the shirt designs we’ve mentioned in a convenient pack. Kurt is rolling in his grave right now.
5. Sex Pistols - I Hate Pink Floyd
This is one of the most famous “customised” t-shirts of all time - the Sex Pistols added “I Hate” in felt tip, to a Pink Floyd shirt. Tore the sleeves off, and created a revolution and a state of mind.
The problem, Johnny Rotten aka John Lydon said in a 2010 interview with The Guardian, was the band's "pretentiousness". "There was an aura of 'Oh, we're so great there's no room for anybody else…"
But Lydon has totally changed his tune: "You'd have to be daft as a brush to say you didn't like Pink Floyd," Lydon explained to the Quietus. "They've done great stuff."
Now that’s what you call a backflip.
6. Nick Cave - I Hate Every Cop In This Town
When you think of Nick Cave, lead singer with his band The Bad Seeds, you more than likely picture him in a well-cut suit. But back in his former days in The Birthday Party his hair was a little wilder and he was known to sport some fantastic t-shirt designs.
In an interview he claimed as soon as he could afford suits he brought them, which seems a shame since he really did wear a tee well.
This classic shirt, designed by Ed “Big Daddy” Roth, who design the 'Junkyard’ album cover, reads 'I HATE EVERY COP IN THIS TOWN’ 'A GOOD COP IS A DEAD COP’
7. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Madonna Masturbating
Sorry, we can't track down an image of this one...but you'll get the idea.
Not afraid of a bit of controversy, or nudity for that matter, when the Chilis album, ‘Mother’s Milk’, was set for release in 1989, the cover sleeve was to feature the naked upper torso of a woman holding the four members of the band in her arms.
However, a certain large chain of American stores decided they were a bit uncomfortable with this. The retailer wanted to buy a significant number of copies (reportedly 50,000 units) which forced the record company’s hand. They reworked the cover design so that the band members appeared bigger, obscuring the breasts of the woman. Singer Anthony Kiedis says he is comfortable with the decision and the “sell out” finger should not be pointed in his direction.
“The art of the Red Hot Chili Peppers is first and foremost that of our music.... That we should have to enlarge ourselves on the record is really not that big a deal. It’s what’s inside that counts,” he said in an interview with Kerrang magazine.
He goes on… “These things are so arbitrary, anyway. Nobody kicked up any fuss over our T-shirts…” The two most famous being the legendary socks-on-cocks number, and the less well known Madonna masturbating shirt.
“It’s a drawing of Madonna masturbating, and she’s dreaming of the Red Hot Chili Peppers,” Kiedis explains (apparently with a straight face). It’s not known if Madonna herself has actually seen it, but Kiedis is confident she'd like it.
“I think if she saw it, she’d want one, that’s the type of girl she is. I mean, I don’t think she’s ever denied masturbating. Or denied masturbating to the Red Hot Chili Peppers, for that matter…”
8. Blur - Topless Girl On A Hippo
Blur’s topless-lady-on-a-hippo cover art (as well as t-shirts and tour posters) for their “She’s So High” single did not go down well in the UK, with feminists deeming it “sexist propaganda”.
This came to a head at Coventry Warwick University, where the band were due to play a show. Blur’s poster guy was ordered not to display any hippo tees or posters. The band pleaded their case, but the promoter and house manager were apparently terrified of the powerful womens’ groups that were protesting around campus.
Guitarist Graham Coxon took to the back of one of the posters, writing “Regretfully your student union bosses have refused us permission to display our poster. Luckily for a mere £3.50 you can buy one and view it in the privacy of your own dorm”. No merchandise was allowed to be put on display.
Three quarters of the way through the set – the poster was put back up, the right way round. The promoter freaked out, the poster was taken down….and the t-shirt went up.
“Did you like our poster?” said frontman, Damon Albarn. The band sold a bunch of t-shirts and sold out of posters that night.
9. Madness - Fuck Art, Let's Dance
Madness were among the most famous and most successful acts from the Stiff Records roster, releasing a string of hits with the label in their early days (although it was 2 Tone records that beat Stiff to releasing Madness’ debut album, The Prince, which became a number 16 hit in 1979).
The band’s famous – and now very rare (and valuable!) – t-shirt featured the phrase “Fuck Art, Let’s Dance”. The phrase was borrowed from radical American poet and painter Lawrence Ferlinghetti, most famous for his 1958 collection of poetry entitled ‘A Coney Island Of The Mind’.
Ferlinghetti opened the City Lights Bookstore in San Francisco, CA, which became a popular hang out for poets in the Bay Area. Where and when he first used the phrase “Fuck art, let’s dance” is not clear, but the sentiment was to make fun of people who have drained the life out of poetry and other artistic pursuits, by making the Arts about being intellectual instead of a passionate response to life.
You can still buy pins emblazoned with the slogan from his bookstore to this day.
‘Fuck Art Lets Dance' was Madness' motto and between 1977 and 1978. If it feels good, do it, don’t worry about being smart.
10. Metallica – Metal Up Your Ass
Metallica first used the phrase “Metal Up Your Ass” as the name for their 1982 live demo recording when original guitarist Dave Mustaine was in the band. The name and the image, drawn by Stephen Gorman, were meant to be used for the band's first proper album, but their record company said nope, no way.
Apparently they objected to the image of a filthy toilet with a blade positioned in exactly the right place to uh, cause the user some discomfort.
The next part in this story has become the stuff of legend…
It’s said that in response to this shut down from the conservative record execs, Metallica's bassist Cliff Burton (R.I.P!) used the phrase "Just fuckin' kill 'em all."
The rest is history and another controversial album cover (and infamous t-shirt design) – Kill Em All - was born.
- RB
